I learned something in the pub tonight that is tremendously upsetting to me. Some folks in my research group feel that since I don't want to be a hardcore researcher, I have no purpose teaching, no purpose in being a lecturer. Talk about making me cry my eyes out... I want nothing but the best for out students and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I am devastated. I have no idea how to manage how I am currently feeling.
Manu has been a super star in trying to fight my corner. I gave her several hugs at the pub tonight. It made her uncomfortable.... she had no idea that I would react the way that I did (letting the tears flow). After speaking with me and attending the PGCAP course with me last week, she now understands what I am trying to achieve and believes in me. She knows that I am striving to be an excellent educator. Perhaps she has persuaded one other to realise that is what I am trying to be. How many others need to be persuaded? Can they be? Should I even try? I feel so lost at this moment in time. All I want is to inspire, engage and help the next generation of scientists to find their way... and be successful in their journey. Is that so wrong? Is that not to be valued? I can't stop crying about this.
Looking into Plymouth University's take in Research-informed teaching, I found this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.plymouth.ac.uk/pages/view.asp?page=34503
This makes me feel stronger... they can't take away what I am trying to do or belittle me because I am working with students in a different way. I use research to inform my teaching, I understand how to undertake and successfully carry out a research programme, I have provided numerous opportunities to involve students in research, giving them experiential learning...
There is definitely more than one way to achieve the end goal. I just happen to be good at capturing a students imagination and engaging them in their learning.
And remember this:
ReplyDelete"Try to understand that pessimistic and self-sabotaging people, corporations or industries are living in fear of the future. That will not affect your success if you don’t want it to."